It finally happened!!!! This past weekend we were visiting Laine’s mom at her independent living facility. A new resident recently moved in and “Tom” was sitting in the hallway in front of the elevator when we entered the lobby. Mom decided to introduce Laine, and it went down like this…
~ “Tom, this is my daughter Joyce.”
~ Tom looks at Laine, looks at Mom, looks behind Laine to where me and the kids are standing, the three of us patiently waiting to see how this plays out…
~ Tom looks baffled but says something along the lines of “nice to meet you…”
~ Laine gives him a sympathetic “ill explain later look” and we turn the corner.
As I am signing us all of the visitor’s book, I tell Laine he should go put Tom’s mind at ease because that poor man was deeply confused. Mom has wandered off at this point to chat with someone else, so Laine has a clear shot back to Tom. The conversation now develops into this…
~ Laine explains to Tom that he is a transgender man and that Mom doesn’t embrace or accept it.
~ Tom gets it, is very understanding and lighthearted about it and explains to Laine “I thought she (Mom) was playing a joke on me!!!!”
I have the feeling this is going to be an ongoing occurrence with Mom and her incorrect introductions. She refuses to even acknowledge the situation. More often than not in public Laine is getting “Sir-ed” (I’m not certain that is a word, but for sake of this blog post, I’m claiming it!) This happened all of the sudden. Lexie started it at IHOP and from there on everything has been “Sir” and male pronoun usage when others address him. Therefore people are going to start looking at Mom like she might have some screws loose…
Thursday will be 19 weeks of Laine’s “boy shots. Last week was a big week for him! His name change became officially legal on Wednesday, September 2. We then ventured to Social Security and then this week he’ll head to the DMV, which will also include a legal gender marker change. Top Surgery has been confirmed for June 7, 2016. Although the doctor did have opportunities for surgery to happen quicker than that, we had to take life into consideration. We have four kids in school, we are closing on a new house within the first quarter of 2016, and top surgery is going to take us out of state for approximately 9 nights. That is a long time to be away from home. There just isn’t any feasible way to accomplish that with the kids in school and life happening around us. So although it’s frustrating, we decided to wait until the summer time when kids don’t need to be shuffled to and from school, and our 9 nights of being gone won’t affect them as badly.
Physical changes seem to be appearing almost daily lately. His voice has dropped even deeper. In fact his mother, asks EVERY time they speak on the phone, “Did you just wake up?” UGGGHHH. NO MOM! It is 1030 in the morning (or 2 in the afternoon, it doesn’t matter….) we have 4 kids, he did NOT just wake up!! THIS IS HIS VOICE NOW!
Facial hair is starting to appear more and more. It is my obsession to rub my cheek against his and feel the stubble that is beginning to appear. He laughs at me when we are in good lighting and I am very clearly analyzing the stubble growth.
His backside…it deflated almost overnight. I went to give him a shot a few weeks back and I had to re-train myself where to stick the needle. The original cheek curve has gone flat and certainly taken on more of a male shape.
In other news of our lives, our house is finally in the building process. They sent an email last week letting us know all permits have been approved and that we would see definite activity within the next few weeks… is a slow process for the impatient!
The wedding planning has come to a hurry up and wait point. All vendors have been chosen and/or secured. Now we just need attire and the fine details. September 24 begins the dress shopping adventure, the first appointment has been confirmed. Only 390 days to go…remind me again why we thought waiting forever (ok 16 months) from the day we got engaged was a great idea??? I know there are 15 other things happening between now and then, but geeze 390 days sounds really far away! Benefit of waiting this ridiculous amount of time…we get to plan it the way we want it, and ensure it is a perfect day. Our day!